9 things that have annoyed me recently

Because sometimes, it's good to have a little rant

Hello hello! It’s been a while since I vented my annoyance on Substack, so I do apologise for my silence. This was originally going to be a short sharp list of 5, but I found I could easily fill a list of 5 just going about my daily Tuesday, so I’ve expanded it. I’m sure there are many more points I could add as well, but I don’t want to be a full-on misery guts. Maybe the next post will be 10 Things I’ve Loved Recently (would you read that?) — I’m currently eating a bag of salt & vinegar McCoys and I’m not sure I’ve had these crisps since my year 6 lunchbox, but I’m impressed. Would buy again. See, I’m not all doom and gloom!

My friend D-dawg actually bought me a Rants Journal for my birthday. I’m not sure what she was trying to get at.

Anyway: in no particular order, here’s what’s made me roll my eyes or swear under my breath recently:

1. The rising trend of men wanting a “nice girl”
   As of writing, yes, I am still on Hinge. Fewer men that look like potatoes, but generally still a rather disappointing experience. One thing I’ve noticed in the last couple of weeks is just how many guys state they’re looking for a nice girl. At first it didn’t register as anything weird, but then I saw it on 4-5 profiles in the space of two days. I was taught at the age of seven years old that “nice” is a poor descriptive word, so to avoid using it. Do these guys all have a limited vocabulary? Very possible. But it also strikes me that they’re just looking for a docile little lady who won’t talk back.
   

2. No, I won’t make you breakfast

   Again, another Hinge observation, but at the same time as noticing the request for nice girls I realised I’d seen more references to guys wanting someone to make them breakfast. One or two did at least profess their own breakfast skills. Here’s the thing: we all know breakfast is the first meal of the day. I’m not going to spell it out for you, but the audacity of their assumption here is off-putting (yes you can call me a prude), and the fact they’re already putting it out there that they want someone to cook for them screams tradwife, to me.

   

   (Getty: GraphicaArtis)

3. The risk of the ‘Manosphere’ is overrated

   So says the headline of this Guardian article. Was it written by a man? Yes. Was the study commissioned by a man? Also yes. Is the study largely useless and negating the lived experiences of women? Yes yes yes. It’s a study of limited reach (38 men in total… not much bigger than your average school classroom) and didn’t include boys under 16. It concludes the risk of the ‘manosphere’ has probably been overrated by society. Yet it gives no indication as to who might be committing the average 3,000 daily violent offences against women and girls and why that number is on the rise. Looks around… well, this limited study suggests there’s no problem. So, get over it, I guess.
   

4. Spin instructor, or your cheesy local DJ?

   You know the type. They seem to wedge a ‘y’ in to every other word, making them sound like a middle-aged DJ that you might book for a children’s party or retirement soiree and immediately regret. Yoookaaay guys, give me that bounce one last tiyiiiime before we get out of here into the sunshiiiyyyiiine. Very breathy into the mic, too. Please, just no.
   

5. Uncontrolled sneezes
   Another thing I don’t want to hear is loud, spluttering sneezes. You know the ones — where you can’t help but grimace when you hear it, glad that you’re not within a three-metre radius lest you should experience sprayback. I get that we’re in hayfever season, but if you’re an adult and you haven’t learnt how to control your sneezes yet, you need to check yourself.

   

   Dis.Gus.Ting.

6. People who don’t respect a zebra crossing

   You don’t respect the rules of the road, I don’t respect you. If you drive right through it while I’m crossing, you can expect me to give you an exaggerated thumbs up or a wave and a passive aggressive THANK YOU, at best. At worst, I’ll shout something far ruder.
   

7. People who have no spatial awareness at Tube stations

   Usually tourists, but I would hate to generalise. People who don’t seem to understand that standing still in the entrance to the platform, along with their multiple suitcases and children in prams, really baffle me. There’s a song by Ludacris that often enters my head when I’m trying to find my way past them.
   

8. My AMEX is broke

   If you know me, you know I am not currently working full time (and even ‘part time’ is perhaps pushing it). If you know me well, you also know I’m absolutely useless at cancelling subscriptions to things. Ironic really, as my background is in subscription marketing. So it was a very poor life decision not to cancel my Amex last year before it renewed (at a great expense). And now there seems to be a glitch, because every time I log in to check my balance, it’s increased by an extra couple of hundred pounds. So, I shuffle around my savings and pay off a chunk. But the next day I login, hoping to see my balance at a very responsible £zero, and am crushed to see that it’s hardly made a dent. As the cool kids say (I think) — the math ain’t mathing.

   

9. Rip off Britain
   You’ve had your head in the sand if you haven’t noticed the rising price of just about everything in recent years. This could very well explain my Amex problem (see above). I could write a whole other Substack on it, but for now, I just need to take a moment to vent about the price of a mini bar of Tony’s Chocolonely bought at a coffee shop at Paddington last week. I know — what should I expect?
   They’re about a quid in supermarkets. But buy it from an FCB coffee and you’ll pay three times that: £3.20!! Are you having a laugh? I could’ve bought a full size one for that price!

There’s not a number 10: not because I couldn’t think of anything (ohhh no) but to give my readers a chance to chip in. That’s you. Tell me what’s been bothering you and get it off your chest in the comments below! And let’s not spread negativity, please tap the like button ❤️️ before you go.